From a Bruised Sky
by Lady Devonna
Summary: Haruka begins to have vivid dreams leading up to his binding that slide into waking visions and threaten to reveal what might force him to kill Kantaro. Chapter 5 sheds light on just went on between Haruka and the mysterious Ichinomiya Takeshi.
1. What the Rain Brings

And I thought having my power locked away was like drowning

_And I thought having my power locked away was like drowning. I hadn't known then what it was like to be bound, what true suffocation is. It's too heavy to fight, smothering, a death worse than dying. Mine is a savage heart and its shriek of rage at the binding shuts out all else, snatching away my last moments of awareness before darkness beyond dark envelops me and I am lost. Even black anger disappears into the deeper shadows. The fight is really gone from me, and the breath is going…_

I sat straight up, my chest tight. It was a terrifying feeling. Lightening doesn't work on suffocation, and binding really feels that way. I'd had the dream three nights in a row now, and was starting to feel the way humans do about falling dreams. If I didn't wake up in time, I might die. Or worse, be bound again.

It was barely dawn. I could hear Yoko and Kantaro breathing. Yoko was placid and happy. We'd just gotten paid for a manuscript and she'd done her shopping without having to run through half of Tokyo looking for the cheapest of everything. Kantaro was muttering. He'd been complaining about dreams lately. Maybe it was going around.

The momentary visions had been there a long time, making me wary, turning me against my… my Kantaro. But the dreams were worse. Not mere moments of emotion but complete memories. The cold, the darkness, and at the very edge… Knowledge. In the moment of binding that dominated my dreams there were no coherent thoughts, but right before, I knew. Who had bound me, why, precisely what drove me so viciously against Kantaro. If it was there in dream it fled upon waking, but I almost had it.

And I was afraid to get it. I was increasingly sure justice and my own nature would demand that I kill Kantaro. It might be just and natural, but I could never stand it. I'd warned him. He knew full well what might happen. His complacence didn't mean the act wouldn't destroy me. Whatever was left of me.

I wasn't going to fall back to sleep. I got up and shivered. There was a bite to the air of late. In fact, come to think, my dreams had begun in earnest with the advent of autumn's chill. There's usually a reason for such things.

I dressed and made tea. It was raining a bit, so I decided not to go hide on the roof. Jittery as I was feeling I might end up slipping off. And I wanted to be near them, even if they were only asleep. I was restless and more scared than I liked to admit, and I was starting to suspect I'd have to leave again. I'd promised. What was more important, Kantaro's happiness or his safety? Without me, I knew, he… That knowledge made it so much harder. If it were one-sided I could just _go_.

So I'd stay while I still trusted myself, and listen to him talk in his sleep. I sat on the porch. He was quieter now. Good. I'd been afraid to go comfort him right after I woke. I leaned against the support post. It was slick and slimy with the rain and creaked a bit. The wood grain pressed against my cheek. It was raining harder and I saw a distant flash of lightening. Strong as my affinity was, I felt a little ill to see it. When the sky was live with power it was dangerous for even me to fly, and this seemed like a day I might need to stay away from home. With luck, Yoko had an errand I could volunteer to run.

My tea was getting cold. I looked down into the cup as a gust of wind blew a few drops into it.

_Waiting. I am never good at waiting, and the sense of foreboding will not go. I never used to overthink like this, but one thing I've grown tired of thinking about is what's happened to me, what's changed. The wood is rough and cold and I almost turn to go. My nihonshu is getting diluted and the thunder seems somehow not to be the friend it usually is to me. I could be getting something useful done. _

_There's demon scent in the wet air. As well as something strange._

I came back to myself with a start. It was a bit lighter, though the clouds were so thick I could barely guess at the sun's position. I was soaked, though. It had seemed like seconds, but no little time had passed. And I didn't think I'd been asleep. Just elsewhere.

It had been just as vivid as during the night, though. And the only real moment I'd been able to recapture anything real from before the binding. Vague impressions of anger and powerful demons didn't count. I couldn't glean much. Who or what was I supposed to be waiting for? What had held me there? The scene I saw as clearly as Kantaro's yard, but it was no help. A forest, a simple little shrine, a path that rounded a bend into thick trees. I thought I'd seen mountains. That really narrowed it down.

But now I really couldn't stay. Who could guess what might happen if I remembered something more substantive? Kantaro would happily accept it. I wouldn't. I needed to sort through this away from him. And if justice demanded that I murder the one dearest to me…

Tengu can drown.

I couldn't believe I'd even had such a thought. Would I? If I knew for certain the truth I suspected, distance wouldn't be enough to save him from me. I already knew there were impulses too powerful to control, clashes within that defied my best efforts at discipline. To protect Kantaro, there might be nothing else I could do.

I stood to go. At least I could be sure I wouldn't hurt him immediately. It'd be dangerous to fly, but I had to get reasonably far away. I was already feeling waterlogged. Even without the lightening it would be a tricky flight with the wind behaving so erratically.

"Haruka!"

I turned reluctantly. Kantaro wasn't even dressed properly yet, and he was wiping sleep from his eyes. Some of his hair was sticking straight up. He clearly hadn't slept well. At his most vulnerable. Oddly, I had a sense it made him safer. I was at my most protective, best equipped against my other self, the self mad with anger that wanted to destroy this beautiful, fragile creature.

"Did you make tea? Can I have some?" He didn't wait for an answer. For form's sake I nodded, but he was already pouring himself a cup. "It's going to be an awful day. The scar says it's just going to keep raining."

I couldn't help raising an eyebrow. "The scar that flares in the presence of demons?"

"Ah, didn't you know that scar has many talents? Like me, it is wise and powerful beyond its years. …The tea is almost cold."

I winced involuntarily. If he didn't stay at his sweetest this would be harder. There was a brief prickle of white-hot anger that I forced back. I always felt it behind my eyes, almost like the beginning of tears.

"I have to pick up some books so I'll look busy and Yoko's good mood will hold. Want to come?" Calculating little…

I'd have liked to, though. Damn rain would make it unpleasant, but the part of me I wanted to believe was the real Haruka liked the idea of a day with him. One not spent fighting off a demon and hopefully not throwing me at women to make his life a bit more convenient. A long walk and maybe ramune, since the budget wasn't nearly as tight as usual.

The other half, though, was too dominant now, hungry for more knowledge and for my Kantaro's blood.

"I have to go and see Sugino today." Hopefully he wouldn't ask why. I did, after all. There was nowhere else. A half truth wasn't much better than a lie, though.

"Oh." He finished his tea and retreated more toward the door. "Alright. I'll get ramune for you when you get home." My heart pounded in my ears for a moment. "That reminds me. Here."

I'd been managing to not look at him for a moment, so I didn't see right away what he was offering. I looked down to see something glitter in his hand. It was the shape of a teardrop, white and glittering. It looked like ice, like the hottest part of a fire. Lightening. Nothing Kantaro could possibly afford. Beautiful, with a spark that went beyond shine. It hung on a red ribbon. "What…?"

"I found it. In a shrine I was asked to check for malevolent entities. Turned out the priest was just paranoid. I offered him half price since there was nothing to do, and he offered this instead. I thought you'd like it." He smiled. Kantaro at his very sweetest. I almost felt calm enough to trust myself.

But I couldn't. This euphoria would wear off soon enough, though the beautiful trinket I was fastening around my neck was surprisingly heavy against my chest. It almost felt like a binding, but I must have been imagining things. There was no power to it. I'd sense that properly. There was just beauty. It was a lovely gift. Nothing more. "Thank you."

He smiled at me. "Be careful. I can't believe you're making the trip in this weather. If you get a cold, I…"

He what? "I don't get colds." This was too much. Any more of this sweetness of his and I wouldn't be able to go. "Goodbye." I brought out my wings, hoping that the rain would thin. This was going to be a terrible trip.

"Haruka!"

I wanted to just get going before the storm and Kantaro managed to break my resolve. I looked back reluctantly.

"Come back soon, okay?" He looked very subdued and spun on his heel, heading back into the house. Damn it, now I _really_ hated to leave.

Couldn't be helped. And I didn't want to make a promise I couldn't keep, so I took off. The flight took three times as long as it should have and I half crashed when I landed. It was even darker in Sugino's forest.

"Demon Eater?" He didn't even look out the window. I supposed he had a limited number of people who might be crashing into his tree. "Better get inside. I heard lightening strike somewhere nearby. I know you have a better time with that than most, but be sensible."

"Have anything I can dry off with?" I just slipped in the window. Easier than working my way around to the door. Muu was on the table munching a beetle and Sugino had his pigtails in and looked to be attending to such chores as a tree-house required.

"Considering the puddle you're creating on my floor, I'd guess no, and neither does anyone who isn't a wholesale cloth merchant. Have another fight with your idiot human?"

Such a one for tact, Sugino. "No."

"I see." I wasn't sure if he did. One could never tell with him. "What happened?"

"New memories. Stronger ones. And from right before I was bound." Relevant, in other words, to the drive to slaughter the one I loved best. "I couldn't stay." I considered. I'd remembered Sugino well, but didn't recall any details such as how or when I'd met him. Would he knew about that period?

He seemed to guess what I was thinking. "I could help. If you really want to know."

"I think I'd better figure it out this time." I couldn't help a sigh. "If it comes when I don't expect it, I'll have even less control over what happens." I asked outright. "How much do you know?"

"Much. Most, maybe. But I probably shouldn't just tell you your own story." At least he acknowledged his particular perceptions were likely to color facts a bit. Or he didn't feel like it. Or he was rather less perturbed than I at the idea of tearing into Kantaro's chest if the memories came when they shouldn't. "I know where there are a few things that could trigger real memories, though."

"Show me?"

"After the rain stops. We'll see if it works."

He might be making this up as he went. But what other chance did I have? If I could control what I remembered, then I could make sure it was safe, have a fighting chance of defeating that part of my nature. Maybe. With the return of my memories that side might be much stronger, and Kantaro would be lost.

**Author's Note:** I'm working fairly exclusively off of anime knowledge in this fic. I haven't finished the manga and I'm very bad at getting a hold of doujinshi. There's probably lots of canon-fodder for this story that I don't know about. Apologies now. I like the story here, so if it's a bit AU, it's a bit AU. In any case, stay tuned for Haruka's memories.


	2. What Lies Beneath

The rain was very reluctant to stop, and I was restless as hell

The rain was very reluctant to stop, and I was restless as hell. Sugino was, for him, very patient with my pacing and muttering, but he refused to leave while the skies were still so very open. Muu offered me a caterpillar. It was a nice thought, though I wasn't sure if I was meant to eat or befriend it.

By the time the clouds thinned and broke, it was near sunset and I was half out of my mind. At least I was drier. Flying with wet feathers is miserable. Without waiting for any acknowledgment from Sugino I headed out the door. He was going to show me. Now. I waited with my arms crossed, glaring at the ground below while I waited. Maybe I was being a little petulant. I didn't care.

Sugino's tree was the biggest and the oldest on his mountain, and I suspected imbued with lots of magic so he could avoid moving, but its nearest neighbor was a close runner-up. Still, it had to be a hundred years younger. I needed something to look at while Sugino dressed in something appropriate for the occasion (as if anyone would care that he was in suspenders).

My eyes lost their focus for a moment, and when they snapped back, I was a bit closer to the ground and the tree I was looking at was little more than a sapling. A human boy stood beside it. Peculiar looking. Humans tended to look quite a bit alike to me, but this one had hair the silver of an elder's and eyes like twin rubies. Fine robes, too, though I wasn't particularly accustomed to judging their fashions. They looked comfortable and were embroidered. I judged that fine. He looked annoyed. Maybe he was trying to look furious, but he didn't really have the face for it. I indulged a chuckle and turned to go annoy Sugino some more.

As I turned, though, I sensed a very peculiar energy from the boy below. It was incredibly weak, but intense. There was clearly a lot of spiritual awareness and talent to him, but he was too frail to use it. Hypersensitive, yet so feeble as to be helpless. Maybe he was ill, and that accounted for the funny coloring and frailty. One never knew with humans. For my part, I didn't care. Still, such finesse. It must be hard to have such a knack and not possess a modicum of the strength needed to use it.

"You! You stole my brother's glory!"

What now? For one thing, he ought not be able to see me, but I'd let that go. He must be related to that hopeless aspirant samurai who'd tried to take on the demon Sugino had sent me after. Pfft. Humans. "Your brother was about to be impaled. Count yourself lucky you still have one." Oh, oops. I was supposed to pretend Sugino had done it. Well, his ego could suffer a few blows and still be robust. And it wasn't as though we looked remotely alike. If the kid had actually seen the fight, it wasn't going to stay quiet that the great god of the mountain had had to call in a favor to deal with his marauding demon problem.

"Demon Eater!" There was a growl and he threw a spoon at my head. Megalomaniac. He wouldn't have this problem at all if he didn't insist on appearing to his followers all the time. If he'd stay a bit more mysterious, he could have gotten away with the borrowed glory.

"Eh, he saw me." Which was still strange. I suppose he could have just managed to witness the fight from a distance. I wouldn't have noticed him. That had been one tough demon. "Looks too bright to believe for a second that I'm you." I ignored the kid shouting at me and stepped inside. The sudden shift from the light of the sun bursting through the trees to Sugino's dingy treehouse knocked out my vision for a second. When it returned I was standing on his porch, reeling a little, with Sugino flicking me in the temple.

"Stop dreaming, Demon Eater."

"Not a dream. Memory." I hadn't even realized it that time. I looked to the base of the now ancient tree. Kantaro's face swam before me. Well, very close. The other boy had had a thin, unhealthy look that Kantaro lacked. His hair had been a bit longer. There was no hint of fraying on the edges of that pretty kimono. Not Kantaro.

Another Ichinomiya.

The one who'd bound me.

Memory coming in skips and jumps wasn't very useful. I had no new information, just a new reason to be annoyed at Sugino. He could at least have given me a hint. Knew most of it, did he? I didn't think letting me know he'd been around for the encounter itself would have constituted "telling me my own story."

Had I just seen the beginning of it, then? Some bratty young priest managing to bind me with a stroke of extraordinary luck for winning a fight his brother had lost? It was the simplest explanation, but I remembered his weakness. Not with every ounce of power in his body could that puny child have locked away my power, much less bound me in stone for a few hundred years.

"You had me here to get rid of a demon for you," I said quietly. Sugino nodded.

"Good. You're beginning to recall on your own." He looked smug. "It's a start."

"What was his name?"

"…I don't remember." Liar. Interesting. Why hide that from me? Especially when the whole idea was that I know all this soon. He clapped me on the shoulder. "Let's go. It's not far, but I'd like to be headed back before full dark."

Fine. I'd find it all out eventually. "Was this normal? You'd be a decent match for most ordinary demons yourself."

"This was a very nasty one. Even gave _you_ some trouble." He took off and I followed, wishing he'd fly a little slower. He knew every tree in this forest. I didn't have that advantage. "Besides, I hadn't seen you in a while. And you were bored. You agreed to do it for a week of meals."

"Were you actually a decent cook at the time?" He knocked a few twigs off a tree and they smacked me in the face. I chose to understand it as an accident. "Where are we going?"

"Ruins. Half the old village burned a little while after you were bound. The war hit hard. A lot of what was left by the armies has been swallowed up by the forest."

Curious. Though I had only snatches and scraps of my old self, I already recognized the coarse, aloof, and ruthless warrior I'd been. I had no idea what he'd have been doing of any importance in a human village. How boring. And lacking in interesting opponents. I asked no more questions. We landed a few minutes later.

There wasn't much hint that there'd been any village here. There were peculiar shapes in the moss, made eerie in the dimming, dusty light of the sunset. I could see the echoes of foundations and bits of walls. A bit beyond what was left of the street, the only structure left standing was a mansion of heroic proportions, though it had half fallen in, was quite scorched, and had altogether seen better centuries.

Without even a moment of swimming vision, it became a vibrant, beautiful palace I watched from the sky. It was twilight and cloudy. I didn't expect to be spotted. There rode out Lord Ichinomiya, there his treasured first son, honored second son. And the girl was leaving with them, accompanied by two maids and a handful of soldiers. So they really were marrying her off, I guessed.

That didn't leave the house empty by any means. There were servants and half a garrison that _hadn't_ gone with. But that did improve my odds. I landed on the roof.

"I'm coming, Takeshi." Just a whisper. What was the point if he had warning? Besides, I didn't feel like dodging arrows.

This time I came back to reality with my knees smarting from falling against the rocky ground, a concerned Sugino standing over me. "Demon Eater? You're beginning to worry me."

"Takeshi."

"What? Oh. …Yes, that's right. That was his name." He tried to look nonchalant. "Being lost in thought shouldn't be so literal. Maybe we should try this tomorrow."

"No!" I stood. My knees threatened to give for a second. Now that I'd started it didn't seem safe or wise to stop. Part of me didn't want to know. Part wanted to know much too much. I wished I hadn't been interrupted. If I hadn't fallen, if I'd remembered going into the house, maybe I'd have a better idea what I was getting myself into. That had been an important evening. I knew that much.

I started toward the mansion. It might help bring back that memory. "Tell me about the family."

"Local nobility. Ichinomiya thought of himself as a great warlord. Always trying to gain influence with the stronger lords. I found him highly entertaining." Sugino rolled his eyes. "A couple of irritating young heirs, a pretty enough girl who was a friend of my shrine maiden's. Nice dancer. The youngest one didn't leave the house much. Sickly. And something of an embarrassment." He looked smug again. Sugino liked to think of himself as an attentive and exacting protector for his worshippers. I thought of him more as a nosy pest, but starting the argument now wouldn't be worth it.

"Ichinomiya." My Kantaro. I'd thought of his eyes and skin as so unique. "Did the albinism crop up often?"

"One other case I noticed. A few generations before. After the war… well…" He swallowed. "They were on the wrong side. Yours is probably descended from the second son. I believe he's the only one to successfully flee."

Was _that_ was he was so reluctant to tell me? Hardly made sense. It seemed like my revenge on my binder might have been taken already by a Tokugawa sword. Disappointing, but he'd have been long dead anyway.

"I'm going inside."

"If you insist." Sugino looked revolted. The door was overgrown with slimy moss. "It's likely to fall in on your head. And I'm pretty sure it's haunted."

"Is this all you wanted to show me? The overgrown ruins of a five hundred year old village?"

"Three or four, more like. I'm bad with dates, but it isn't that long. I figured on you wanting to look inside. I'm just not coming. It's a revolting wreck, and Muu will give me such a scolding if I come back draped in spiderwebs and dirt."

Idiot. I sighed and walked in. I expected to fall into my own memories immediately, but all I saw was a rotted out hall with a floor made of tree roots and moss. I hoped whatever I was looking for wasn't in the half that had fallen in and decided to chance the stairs. It'd be hard to take off in here, but my wings would at least keep me from breaking a leg if they gave out under me.

There were alarming squeaks and one loud snap, but I made it up without getting more than my shoes dusty. The place was starting to look familiar now. But just faintly. I wasn't losing myself in the dark yet. I tripped over a thick vine that had grown over the floor. It seemed sort of irreverent. This had been a grand place in its day. I bent to try to move it away. That was the sort of thing that belonged in a tree-house.

"He's still yelling at you." Sugino glanced out the window. "I recognize him now. The upjumped village chief's son. He's usually a very good worshipper."

"You're a lousy god. …Apparently he really wanted his brother to beat a demon. I don't get humans." I downed the rest of Sugino's dinner. I was eating enough to slow me down, but cooked food was just so tasty. Demon meat was always gamey and acrid. Evil has a distinctive and not too pleasant flavor.

"Oh, my. He's climbing the tree."

"Really? Huh. Wasn't _his_ demon I stole." I got up to look, too. Well, this was just pathetic. His arms were shaking already. He wouldn't make it ten feet. "Why can he see us, by the way?"

"Happens sometimes. Once in a while a human has to turn out competent at _something_."

"So is he going to challenge me to a duel?" This was getting downright entertaining. I wished I'd brought sake. Well, no, I wished I'd bullied Sugino into getting me some. Maybe I would later. It'd make reminiscing funnier.

He was making it higher than I'd expected. Closer, his eyes were sharp and fierce, belying his childish looks. Determination he had. Admirable guts. And the intensity of his energy was still shocking, however little there was of it. Pointless, though. He was going to fall. Those trembling arms couldn't hold him long.

Ah, there. He'd tried to jump up to the next knot in the wood and missed. But he'd certainly made it a long way. Too long, actually. Those brittle little bones were all going to break. He was scrambling to hold on, scraping his fingers nastily against the bark, barely slowing his fall. And then his bare foot completely came away from the wood. He didn't scream. Not a sound, even a curse.

Waste of a pretty interesting human, that.

But then I was out the window and hurling myself down. I wasn't sure why I did it, except that I couldn't help admiring that spirit. Even locked in a pathetic body like this, such fortitude was rare in human or monster. It shouldn't be shattered by something as simple as a fall.

A rough landing. He was light, but it was a very difficult angle to catch him from. The jolt sent stabbing pain through the bottoms of my feet and I dropped him immediately. Irritating. And he was glaring at me. So much for human gratitude.

"Demon Eater!"

I heard Sugino's voice in both past and future, and it woke me up. It was dark now. I must have been out for a long time. My feet ached a bit. My visions were getting longer and stronger, my hints more distressing. "Takeshi…" A worthy opponent.

"Demon Eater! I'm leaving!"

"Then leave. I'm still looking. I'll find my way back." I couldn't bring myself to go yet. I heard him sniff derisively from the yard and fly off.

I was filthy. I'd collapsed entirely this time, and the impact hadn't jolted me out. This _was_ getting serious. Though nothing I'd seen yet was likely to make me lash out at Kantaro, the next might be enough.

I didn't feel up to standing. Whatever was happening was exhausting. It didn't help that I'd flown miles in a storm today, but I was still more tired than I should have been. I folded my knees up to my chest. Kantaro would be worried by now. He'd hide it, though, and make excuses for me, either bury himself in his work or go visit his geisha friend. I hoped he wasn't too unhappy. I should have told him why I was going. But he'd have just protested, told me I didn't have to, convinced me to stay. And then I'd remember my reason to hurt him.

"You bastard!" I felt as weak as a kitten. Was this what it was like to be Takeshi, perhaps? The boy just watched. I couldn't fathom how he was doing this. The fragile thing should have been keeling over from a spell like that. Shouldn't have been able to do it at all.

The leaping energy from the magic, the magic too strong for him, that must be killing him… All of it shone in his eyes. They looked dead already. That was how. It was that important to him! Black rage welled up in me, burning bile in my throat. Taking my power away… Lies had served to lure me here, and he was stripping me of everything I was. I'd still rip his throat out. Make it fast and clean, and find someone to undo what he'd done. But quickly that plan was falling away into blind anger.

"Bastard!" My throat felt raw. I felt it constricting. "Don't you dare do this to me!"

"I'm not done." Cold. His voice was flat and cold. A ghost's voice. I'd heard the dead speak and this was just like it.

"To me _or_ you! I swear, Ichinomiya, don't you _dare_ keep at this! _I'm_ going to kill you, you hear me?" I heard my voice raise an octave or two, desperation setting in.

He raised his hand, those precious beads of his glittering in the light… where was the light coming from? My vision was swimming, my breath coming in gasps.

And I thought having my power locked away was like drowning. I hadn't known then what it was like to be bound, what true suffocation was. It was too heavy to fight, smothering, a death worse than dying. Mine was a savage heart and its shriek of rage at the binding shut out all else, snatching away my last moments of awareness before darkness beyond dark enveloped me and I was lost. Even black anger disappeared into the deeper shadows. The fight had really gone from me, and the breath was going…

I choked when I sat up. Must have been the dust. I decided to believe that. I didn't want it to be memories reaching forward in time to smother me. I couldn't be bound from inside my own head, could I?

There it was, then. The anger was still roiling inside me. I curled up tighter, biting it back, not letting myself take off now and go after Kantaro. His doppelganger from centuries past had done everything to warrant my revenge, and who better to receive my just retaliation?

Kantaro. I was crying. The demon eater does not cry, but Haruka does, when needed. I couldn't hurt Kantaro. I'd get as far as I could before that memory came back stronger. And if it was too strong, I'd drown myself. Anything but hurt him. Forget justice. I preferred love.

I got up a few minutes later, shaking and still a little teary. Time to get moving. To get as far from my pretty, precious Kantaro as I could, to hope he wouldn't cry too much in turn. He cried easily. It wouldn't give him the headache it gave me, at least.

The windows were too small to take off from easily. I walked back toward the stairs. One of the doors in the hall was still intact. Strange. For some reason it arrested my attention. Not so mysterious a reason, perhaps. I needed something, anything, to take my mind off that damning memory. A moment not spent thinking about being separated from Kantaro forever.

There was a new charm on the door. Too nicely written to have been done by Miko or Sachie. Potent, too. He was getting better at this. Also paranoid, considering the effort put to defending a room in a huge house full of guards. Ah, but what was Takeshi without paranoia? It'd be like taking the claws off a demon. Easier, but much less fun.

I opened the door slowly. I'd been lucky so far, but the last thing I needed was some dull-witted, faithful retainer happening down the hall, probably on edge with His Lordship gone.

My heartbeat sped up just a fraction. I loved the sense of the hunt. He was bent over a scroll, half out of his blue, summery kimono. His hakama was on the floor. So disgracefully untidy. And lazy. In the heat of the day I'd understand, but it was dusk and the breeze was cool. Not that I objected much.

Ah, well, not much point in stealth once I was in the room. I smirked and cleared my throat.

He whirled around, smiling with his cheeks a bit pink. Drunk again. Lush. He flung his calligraphy brush at me and missed by an arm's length. "Don't sneak up on me, Haruka!"


	3. Behind the Eyes

I didn't properly come to my senses until dawn. I was stiff and achy, and the mildew and dust had done a number on my sinuses. I generally try to keep the allergies quiet. It hardly suits my persona. Either of them, fierce Demon Eater or Kantaro's trusty sidekick.

Both called Haruka.

That must have been a trick of memory. I felt a bit ill now that I thought about it. I hadn't remembered anything further, though I'd apparently been curled up on this floor all night. He'd called me Haruka. But the name Kantaro had given me was ours alone. And what were the chances of it being thought of twice, anyway? It _was_ a girl's name. I must have just scrambled my old memories together with more recent ones. I didn't know how this whole thing worked anyway.

Sugino was probably worried. Though he knew where to look for me, even if he'd have to risk getting a bit dirty. Come to think of it, I'd get an earful if I entered the tree house like this. All the grime that could possibly have found its way to me had.

I left the house, tired of its mysteries for the moment. At least my rage had abated. For now. Though if Kantaro were here, I doubted he'd be safe. His lookalike great-great-something uncle had earned him all the retribution I could muster, and the Demon Eater was stronger in me now, more awake, eager for blood.

There was a river a ways up the mountain. Freezing, but that was refreshing in a way. I stripped down and washed my clothes quickly and let them dry in the weak, quavering sunlight of the woods while I soaked.

I didn't want to remember anymore. There could be no reason I'd been named Haruka before that wouldn't end with breaking my heart. I'd already seen him bind me. Betray me. And what a taint on the name Kantaro had given me. I fingered the glassy teardrop around my neck.

The water must have made the ribbon slippery. The touch was light, but it slipped right off and fell in the river with a splash. Now I had no guess what the surprisingly heavy crystal was made of, because it floated. But I'd worry about that later. I wasn't letting it get lost. It was all I'd ever have of him from now on.

I dove after the necklace. I'd never been a good swimmer and eventually opted to just fly above the river. The water was fast, though, and flying so close to the ground is hard. I'd almost caught it when I had to swerve to avoid smashing into a hillside. The river disappeared underground, but there was a narrow opening. It looked quite intimidating, but something told me I could get through the little mouth of the cave without too much trouble. And I wasn't losing my treasure.

I had to get on my hands and knees and fold up my wings to get through, but I was already wet enough that it didn't matter. I'd expected a big, ugly chasm shrouded in darkness and damp, but it was actually a small cave with all the water pouring into a pool that looked bottomless. My necklace was caught on a jagged rock at the side of the water. I snatched it and tripled the knot that held it on.

Only then did I glance around. The light was dim, but the sun was climbing, and I could see most of the cave. The stone was black and very shiny, which helped reflect what light there was. It was almost perfectly round, with the walls and ceiling marked my gentle ripples. It looked like water above my head, too. Not that I cared too much for water, but the place was strangely soothing.

Soothing, but empty. There seemed to be nothing living in the place, not even lichens or mushrooms. But something caught my eye, a glimmer of shocking white from behind a boulder. I walked around to find a human skeleton, completely picked clean. A few scraps of washed-out, rotten cloth clung to the bones. I guessed it was a woman from the hips and the faint suggestion of simple butterflies on the faded pink cloth. There was a sword broken off in her ribcage. I made a quick examination. It probably hadn't pierced anything vital where it was. It would have taken a long time to die.

I shivered. How long had she lain here undiscovered? The cave didn't feel haunted. Either she was a particularly peaceful, gentle soul or some exorcist had been here before me. But not a particularly talented one, if he'd missed the body.

My eyes were adjusting to the light. Beyond her was a small, ugly, and very chipped plate, a pile of bits of glass and shiny stone, a very faded protection charm, and, further away, the rest of the broken sword.

The plate was twin to my rice bowl.

"Haaaaruuuu." There was a splash and a giggle behind me. "Haru, it's Sachie. I said I'd find you."

Damn the pest. I looked out from behind my boulder. She hadn't even brought Takeshi. What a waste of time. "What do you want?"

She skipped over. Heaven knows how she managed not to slip. She was wearing one of Takeshi's kimonos, as she usually did when she was out of the house without permission. Up close, I could see how much she looked like her twin and found myself more inclined to put up with her. "To prove I could find you. Since I said I could. And I want to talk."

"Go ahead. I don't promise to listen."

"I think you will, because I have here… a shiny thing." She dangled a flower carved from some lightly purple stone at the end of an intricately woven cord. "And I know Haruka likes shiny things."

I couldn't help it. There was just enough lilac blush to the crystal to make it interesting without detracting from the core of its beauty. She swung it in a lazy arc and I felt my head tilt to follow. "Alright. Listening."

"Haru, you may have this shiny thing if you make me a very solemn promise and seal it in blood."

"Uh-huh…" I didn't worry much about any pact made with her. She had all the power Takeshi didn't, but none of the talent he possessed. And… it was so shiny.

"You must promise to take very, very good care of Takeshi after I have to go and get married."

I pulled my attention from the trinket to the girl. Sachie was unusually swarthy for her family, much too strong for her size, bursting with energy both physical and spiritual. She seemed to have everything Takeshi had missed out on. Stolen in the womb, to hear their father talk. A better choice for third son. I knew my frail little master resented and worshipped her about equally, but toward him she'd always seemed to me to show nothing but playful contempt.

Now, though, all I saw was fierce protectiveness. I tried to reassure the little she-wolf. "I've already decided to do that."

"Oh, I know. But you have to promise me, too. Because if you don't, I will start by breaking your rice bowl and then go on to break all your bones into tiny, tiny pieces." And she meant it. Regardless of whether she could actually manage, she was quite serious. "You're nice. But you're also a monster, you know. And Tak is delicate."

Agreed. And I didn't blame her for worrying, though I felt making me swear was overkill. "Fine. I swear upon whatever you chose to take care of your brother."

The hilt of the broken sword was in my hands and I was sitting next to the skeleton. The empty eyes seemed to gaze up at me balefully, though I sensed no spirit. I reluctantly looked over at the pile of shiny things.

There was a glittering purple flower on the top.

I took it with me, not knowing what else to do. Would it be possible to lead some humans here to take care of the poor little corpse? Little as I remembered of her, she deserved better than a cold cave that had once held a demon-eating tengu and his memories.

I walked beside the river, unwilling to get back in the water. Lucky that I was deep in the woods. It was nearly a mile, a lot longer walking than flying, and I was naked but for a necklace. My clothes were still damp when I got back, but after the rain yesterday I was used to that. I didn't want to be alone right now. The silent trees and my thoughts were _not_ the company I needed.

Sugino breathed a sigh of relief when I got back. "You look awful. Go get some rest. I'll get you something for lunch."

"I'm not really hungry."

"Mm-hm. Either I get you lunch or Muu does." I sat down to wait. He was back with rice a few minutes later. Or hours. I didn't have much sense of time. Thrice while I waited my vision swam and I caught snatches of the past, moments of sound and feeling and light that vanished again. The third time I nearly got lost in it, but Sugino pulled me back by setting my bowl in front of me.

"There you go, Demon Eater. So how much do you know?" He looked at me critically. "Can't be everything yet."

Not even close. And a good thing, too. The fragments I had were exhausting and maddening. How much time had gone into whatever I was to make of my time with Takeshi? And how much intensity? If it was all like the moments I'd recaptured, it'd take another lifetime to learn them all again. I forgot Sugino for a moment and put my head down on the table. I couldn't possibly rest. Not now. But I was so exhausted. I was back up before Sugino finished asking if I was alright. Too jittery.

"I'm sorry, Demon Eater. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be on you. And I was figuring on pretty hard." He sighed, poking at his lunch. Muu scowled at him (I _think_ it was a scowl, anyway) and he went back to eating steadily. "You really are starting to look sick. And where did you spend the night?"

"The house. But I was down in my cave, too." I knew I'd lived there for what seemed like a long time.

"You found that? I never knew where it was, or I'd have brought you to your hideout first."

"There's a girl's body there with a sword broken off in her ribcage." My voice was perfectly deadpan. I just didn't feel up to anything like normal emoting. Sugino just stared at me. "It's old. However old, three hundred or four hundred years or what you've figured out. I think it's his sister. The one you thought was a good dancer."

"Sachie." He actually looked subdued. "I liked her. For a human. I never knew how she ended, but I wish it hadn't been… She was an excellent dancer and a very good devotee, you see." He tried to look his chipper self for a moment and gave up with a sigh. "I apologize. I haven't handled this well."

"No." But he was trying. I tried to soften my look a little. Problem solving and sensitivity were hardly skills I expected Sugino to bring to the table. "Do you know—"

He cut me off, gesturing with his chopsticks. "At this point it looks like I know less than I thought, and I don't want to be influencing this. You deserve to find all your own memories."

"My memories are telling me to kill Kantaro. If he were here…" I swallowed. He tried to look sympathetic. "That's not what I meant. Do you know why this is happening?"

"Normally, an unbound monster comes out with all his powers and memories. Remember my predecessor on this mountain? I can only think that kid did something rather strange and the magic combined badly."

"He bound my power first, then me."

"That may be it." He sighed. "You want to keep trying?"

"I don't think that I can stop." I got up and gazed out the window at the tree where I'd first seen Takeshi. "And at least here I'm far away. I… I mean it. If I saw him now I'd kill him. If I find out anymore, maybe that'll stop. Maybe it will get worse." I paused for a moment, feeling ill or maybe like I wanted to cry again. I covered my mouth, restraining whichever it was, and then my fingers wandered down to the necklace. "I'd _kill_ Kantaro."

"That wouldn't be true if he didn't deserve it. He lied to you about his ancestor. By omission anyway. And he's not exactly overflowing with integrity, the little brat. We'd probably be better off without him."

I whirled from the window, feeling a swell of rage I'd only previously encountered in a memory of binding and betrayal. Sugino immediately saw he'd gone too far and looked as penitent as I suppose he knew how. Muu kicked him, and then he looked wounded and absurd. I calmed a bit.

"Imagine you wanted to kill her." I was back at the window and didn't look back at his melodramatically horrified gasp. Then I was on the ground, looking down at an undersized, funny-colored human brat.

"Should have let you fall." I made to fly back up. I wasn't even sure why I'd done it, and Sugino was definitely staring at me in confusion off his porch.

"Yes, then you wouldn't have sealed your own fate." He looked so serious I burst out laughing. He was muttering and clinging to a string of prayer beads. At the end of his chanting I was distinctly uncomfortable. T felt like being bitten by a lot of insects at once, but it didn't last.

"That won't work." I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm not possessed by anything, to start with. Wrong approach."

"I saw the way you fought, demon."

Completely untutored, was he? Pity. He could have been good at this. For a human. "I'll take that as a compliment, but fighting dirty doesn't make me one of those brutes. I, little human, am the Demon Eating Tengu, the strongest of all monsters, superior of any demon ever to walk, swim, fly, or crawl this green earth."

I believed in doing introductions right. And it seemed I had. He looked suitably impressed. "I heard about you once."

I looked up at Sugino. He'd gone back inside. "Did you, now?"

"From some of the monsters that live near the river." His expression had quite transformed. He looked hopeful and his eyes were as delicate as his skinny frame. "I wanted to meet you. I don't really want to fight you. I don't care that you took Kazuo's kill. But now he'll try to take it out on the other monsters. He's so spiteful. I thought if I took care of the demon who fought his he'd calmed down."

I just blinked a bit. The kid talked very fast, and making sense didn't seem a priority of his.

"Demon Eater!" A spoon whacked me on the back of the head. The sting was twin to one on my forehead. I'd passed out again this time and the table and my face seemed to have made an uncomfortable acquaintance.

"That's it. You're going to lie down a while." I pushed Sugino's hands off my shoulders and he grabbed again. "You're going to hurt yourself. What if that happens when you're flying?"

"Then it happens." Did he really think I could stop this now? The only way to do that would be to step into the river and not get back out again. And that might be the best idea, but I was as curious as I was worried. What the hell had that skinny kid made of my life?

"Fine. But why can't you just stay here? It seems like it's happening anyway."

"Locations help. When I'm here all I remember is what happened when he came to challenge me." I closed my eyes. "In the cave I remembered his sister. At the house… well, then I remembered a lot, but some of it was there."

"Alright. Fine. Smash into a tree. See if I care." He spun around in a huff.

"I'll stay for a while. I don't think… that I can be alone right now." I closed my eyes, afraid of what I might find behind them. A moment later I felt his arms wrapped around me. He was quiet. I leaned back against him. A pompous fool he might be, but he'd always been a good friend. I needed this closeness, the sense of someone supporting me. I wished for Kantaro, but if he were here I'd probably have already slashed his throat.

Besides, I'd be too shy to lie in Kantaro's arms like this. I actually smiled a little at that, bitterly. I'd never dared. The great warrior, stronger than any demon, timid as a field mouse when it came to so much as holding hands with Kantaro. I'd blushed for ten minutes after Yoko told me he'd slept beside me while I recovered from that fight in the forest. The few times I'd held him had been moments of high emotion, and I tended to freeze just remembering.

I wouldn't know what to do, anyway. Hundreds of years of life and no interest at all until Kantaro. I'd have just embarrassed myself if I'd tried.

I saw him. I didn't know for a moment if it was Kantaro or Takeshi, but the longer hair tipped me off. Barely a memory, just a few seconds' vision of a blue kimono slipping off his shoulder to reveal perfectly smooth skin that suddenly blushed.

I sat up so quickly I think I whacked Sugino's jaw with the back of my skull. I heard him biting back a reproach that escaped only as a little grunt. "Sorry."

"And I thought you were actually sleeping nicely for a second." He pushed me off and stood. "This is going to get worse before it gets better. I'll come with you to the house. Maybe we can get it over with."

"Maybe." It was gracious of him. I found myself more grateful than I'd expected. He was still holding out on me for some reason, but I'd be angry when I figured out what it was. There was no point before then. "Thank you."

He waved his hand dismissively and said goodbye to Muu. I thought it worth noting he wasn't bringing her on these little excursions. Either he'd learned to be less obnoxiously clingy or he was worried what might happen. Well, to hear him talk the old me had been fairly dangerous.

He flew very close to me, afraid of me falling into my memories and plummeting. Again I was grateful, and the thought was a bit frightening. I never fell. I hadn't faltered in flight… _ever_. The memories of the time before my binding might take more than Kantaro from me.

We passed over a clearing in the forest about halfway between the ruins and Sugino's tree. I felt my wings falter, at least, and dove for the ground. I managed to make a rough but not catastrophic landing, bent a few flight feathers and kneed myself in the nose as I hit the ground. I felt the cool grass for just a moment before I was up again, proud and full of bloodlust, facing the fierce and undoubtedly dangerous demon Sugino had been rebuffed by.

It was easily four times my size, an ugly, crawling mass of chitin and sharp edges, all the worst aspects of an insect. This one had been a demon a long time, was all eaten up with rage and hunger. It looked more like a mantis than anything else, but I couldn't make out just what it might have started as.

And it thought it was going to eat me. How charming. The human with a sword I'd chased off was shouting curses at both of us. I was tempted to electrocute him just for being annoying, but I wasn't quite that cocky. This one was dangerous. I blasted it with lightening. A normal jolt, just testing the waters. It smoked a little, but didn't seem too perturbed.

Fair. That didn't work on everything. I didn't expect it to. That would be boring.

I tried another approach, flipping my staff over to the pointier side. The demon was following me closely with multifaceted eyes and massive pincers, but what if the two were to be combined? I flew high and then back down at what I judged the worst angle for it to turn into and jammed the point into one eye. It exploded in gore. Not just the usual splash I'd expect, but a violent eruption. Got all over the hem of my robe.

And looked diseased. I made a note to myself not to gnaw on this one. I never cared for the taste of bugs anyway, and Sugino was cooking for me anyway.

The human rushed in again and got stabbed by a claw. Just a small one. I picked him up by the collar of his robe and threw him out of my way. Sugino wouldn't take kindly to smashing his worshippers.

Bad move. Its pincer got around my ankle and threw me back toward a gaping, clicking maw. Ouch. I stabbed upward and, once the staff was in there anyway, summoned a good jolt of lightening.

Sataisfying.

There was a crunch as it collapsed and its shell broke, oozing toxic-looking goo through a myriad of cracks. The thing was close to dead anyway, but determined to take anything it could with it. That explained all those attacks, then. Demons were usually smarter.

I had some nasty gashes on my ankle. I landed to suck the blood out in case of poison. Getting one's ankle to one's mouth is perhaps the most awkward and least dignified action I'd ever taken. I tied it off with a scrap of the robe the human warrior had torn escaping the demon's claws.

I lay down in the grass. Wonderful fight. Exhilarating. I needed more like that. Except for some reason my nose hurt and my wings felt a bit crushed.


	4. Walking on Water

I was hungry for more of a fight. The human had finally come to its senses and fled, and the littler monsters had been giving the area a wide berth since this nasty behemoth of a demon had decided to settle in. None of those would be worth a fight anyway. Anything I could destroy with a single good thrust of claws wouldn't make a dent in the bloodlust.

Maybe there was something around that was lying low. Massive, dangerous demons like the one I'd just taken out didn't usually appear from nowhere. And that one had been very old and very dumb. Couldn't have acted without direction.

Heh. Excellent. And if I played my cards right, I could get an extra week of meals out of Sugino for proving he had more of a problem than he'd thought. Well, provided I proceeded to deal with it. I had no idea how I'd go about that. Try and scent out an angry demon and rip its face off? Best plan I felt like coming up with.

Better tell Sugino he had an infestation. I stretched and got up, testing my ankle. It seemed fine. But I'd still prefer to fly. My nose was distracting, too. I hadn't noticed the demon getting anywhere near it. I put my hand over it and felt a drop of blood.

Sugino was shaking me. "Demon Eater!"

"I'm back." Ouch. My nose was much more painful outside my memories. My wings felt a little screwed up too, though it wasn't exactly pain. Bent feathers just felt severely out of place, like something in me was badly off balance. And they'd make flying more difficult for a while. I packed my wings away reluctantly. I'd want them on a day like this, but they'd sort themselves out faster this way.

Wingless I always felt naked and helpless. It was a sacrifice I was quite willing to make for Kantaro's convenience, but here where no one would see, I hated not being able to fly.

"You crashed!"

"On purpose." Better than doing it by accident. But I realized it must have looked very bad. "No damage."

"Your nose is purple."

"It doesn't feel that bad." I touched the tip hesitantly. Not broken, but pretty bruised. It seemed already to have stopped bleeding, but it would swell.

"You hit the ground, rolled over a few times, screwed up your wings, and busted your nose who knows how—"

"I know. That was my knee."

"Is that supposed to make it better?"

"What do you want me to do?" I made him look me in the eye, catching his gaze and not letting go. "I'll walk the rest of the way. Will that calm you?"

"Hardly, but no use arguing with you." He scowled. "_We'll_ walk."

I thought about disagreeing, but decided to just be grateful. It'd be better to have someone with me. "Thank you." He fell into step beside me. I wanted to ask if I'd caught the second demon, but it didn't seem important enough to break this heavy silence. I also wanted to tell him that this time I'd gotten so stuck in the past I couldn't extricate myself, had confused what was happening to my physical body with what went on in memory. That seemed worrisome.

Not like I could do anything about it. But worrisome.

I heard a river rushing off to our right. "It's downstream, under a hill. The cave, I mean. I lived there, didn't I?"

"And you were ridiculously secret about it. Heaven knows you were at my place all the time. But you cleared some sort of demon out of the cave and decided it was yours to keep, entrance by invitation only. You think you're peculiar now." He sniffed at me. I nodded.

I'd destroyed at least one other demon then. Kantaro wouldn't approve. I'd won myself a hideaway for whatever purpose and a place for a savage, silly girl to run to die alone and forgotten. More blood on my hands and little to show for it. I felt no remorse for the massive insect I'd killed. My other self was too fresh and strong in my mind to care, and it had been no loss. Even Kantaro at his most tender hearted would have been hard-pressed to find good in that thing.

He'd have managed, though. So sweet, and so secretive about it. I wrapped my fingers around my crystal teardrop. For a moment I let myself fall, not into memories of half a millennium past, but of a few days, Kantaro smiling at me as he looked up from his work, a spot of ink on his nose.

Then I was hit by an onslaught of vicious anger and pictured myself springing for him, ripping into him with my claws, heard a shrill scream and saw perfectly trusting eyes locked on mine, sad and betrayed, not fighting. Sugino's hand was on my shoulder and I felt my feet on the ground, but I felt more lost in that moment than I had in any of my recaptured memories.

We stopped for a few very long minutes. I covered my face and almost started to cry, then nodded to Sugino and kept walking. He didn't say anything. There was nothing to say.

I lowered my hands to a rather different scene. Takeshi's bright eyes looked up at me. "What's your name?"

Was he still talking to me? I had more of Sugino's food to mooch. "I don't have one."

"Oh."

What an idiot. He looked so confused. But what talent he had. And he wasn't really _stupid_. He just didn't seem to know anything about the world beyond everyday human mundanity. Did they keep him locked in a tower all day? But he knew we were here and seemed to have befriended some of my smaller brethren. So they let him out of the tower to talk to bakezouri and kappa? "I don't need one. I'd only have to have a name if a human of sufficient power and charisma gave me one." There were those like Sugino who awarded names to themselves or remembered them from past lives as humans (I wasn't sure which was true of him), but I'd never felt the need. I was born myself and needed no definition beyond that.

"I see." His expression got very solemn for a minute. He seemed to be committing that to memory. "I'm Takeshi Ichinomiya. My father's—"

"An upstart daimyo?"

"He's not an upstart… Alright. He is. How'd you know?"

"I know many things." This was getting stupid. But he did know the area. Maybe he could be more than a persistent irritation. "Are there other demons around here?"

He shivered. "There's a cave by the river that I remember playing in when I was little sometimes, when my sister and I snuck away from the house. All the children here used to play there. But something moved in there that… No one believed a bunch of little kids, but they told me that the water moved like tentacles, and the one who drowned was a very good swimmer. All the adults in town just wanted to make it a cautionary tale…"

Right on target.

I smirked. "Could you point me to this cave?"

"Sure! I'd show you, but I probably can't make it that far."

More efficient to be shown. I scooped him up. He barely weighed a thing, and through his kimono I felt bones. My, he was skinny. One would expect a lord's son to be able to put on some weight. Well, not my business. "Point me."

He looked at the ground and up at me and back a few times, mouth hanging comically slack. Finally, he jabbed his thumb and I took off. He squeaked, but managed to keep enough wits about him that he kept directing me to this cave of his. It was a warm, soft day and the wind as it met us felt like the gentlest caress of feathers. I should know. He was hiding his eyes, though.

"Heights bother you?" Weakling.

"No, we're right out in the sun." He blushed. It was shockingly bright on skin as pale as his. "I usually borrow my sister's umbrella if I'm going to be outside very long. The sun turns me bright red."

Well, that was what he got for being white as a sheet, wasn't it? Still, I was staring to see a whole mountain of cards stacked against him. Why on earth was he so damn skinny? And who was so frail they couldn't walk the little ways between Sugino's place and the river he was directing me to fly along? He must have half killed himself getting up the mountain.

"You should land here and walk as far as the cave. Maybe it won't spot you coming." I took his advice, though something that was using water to drown children and (I hoped, as it'd save me another trip) sending giant bugs out to do its dirty work wasn't likely to spot anything in the air. I put him down. "Am I going to have to carry you back?"

"No, I'll rest on the way down the mountain. But I'm going to come with you. I have an ofuda I thought I might use against you. You know, when I thought you were a demon." His pulled the little strip of cloth out of his pocket. The calligraphy was beautiful, and it was very potent. Those things relied more on the concentration and precision of the creator than raw power, so it was practically glowing with energy. I was glad I wasn't actually a demon.

Also, I'd have felt compelled to eat myself. That would be weird.

"Watch where you're waving that." I started toward the cave walking backward so I could watch him. "You know how to make nasty ofuda but not how a yokai gets its name?"

He looked sheepish. "It's a long story."

"Right." Well, I had no patience for it, then. I picked up the pace and turned around to actually watch where I was going. He was a few paces behind me. I half wanted to tell him to back off. He'd probably get in the way, and using ofuda was _not_ my style.

He made a sort of squeaky noise as we neared the water. I could see an opening the river spilled into just a little ways off. I could easily just keep going and let him squeak, but he might still be useful.

"What's the matter with you?"

"I… I suddenly felt kind of dizzy. I did when you were fighting that other demon, too."

"Might be you're sensitive to something. If I go in that cave, what am I walking into?"

"Oh. Um, it's not very big, about the size of a small room. The river all spills into a hole in the floor. I don't know where that goes, if anywhere. It's dark. The cave is made out of very smooth rock. There're a few boulders."

Not a lot, but something to go on. There was probably something waiting for me. I'd rather lure it out. Lightening wasn't going to do me much good underground, and with the added complication of the river, the jolt if I was standing too close to the water might be enough to do even me damage.

I stepped into the river. I already felt clammy and soaked with the hem of my robe bunching up around my ankles in the current, but at least it would wash the residual bug-gunk out. The kid was on the shore, watching, clutching his ofuda so tightly his fingers were shaking a bit. Those ruby eyes were the size of sake bowls. Easily impressed.

Or maybe not so easily. I was still a few steps from the cave when I felt a vice grip around my ankles that had nothing to do with wet cloth. I looked down and registered that invisible hands had appeared in the water and had me pretty tight. Before I could even try to do something about it, twin spires of water shot up and coils around my hands, a vice grip I couldn't even struggle against.

Takeshi screamed something, but before I could make sense of it I was yanked underwater and into the cave. I almost got dragged into that bottomless hole. My head was under, but that was _far_ more water than I was prepared to deal with and I was tired of this. I managed to wrench one arm free of my watery shackles and grab the side of the pool. The rock was sharp and slippery, and I felt it slice into my hand.

My head was starting to get a little fuzzy. I needed to breathe. Fighting the other shackle, I managed to get another hand up, and the hold on my ankles was weakening a little. The lack of oxygen was about to catch up with me. I snarled, swallowing a lot of river water to do it, and hauled myself up.

I tried to come out of the water rolling, ready to fight, but I was gasping and immediately slipped on the glassy, wet surface. Not very dignified.

I could barely make out my opponent. It had a woman's shape, roughly, though it seemed to waver a bit. It was dim in the cave. How to get her outside? Thin, almost transparent hands rose slowly and then snapped together, clasping tightly. A plume of water shot out of the pool and encircled me, mimicking the motion of her hands.

Fantastic. I dived at it, hoping to catch a weak point in whatever magic she was using by interrupting before it grabbed me. I half made it, my robe caught and more water creeping along to catch me again. This wasn't good.

My staff had been washed in with me, and was floating on the pond's surface, which was calm except for the part leaping its banks and trying to kill me. It was out of reach, damn it. I strained, but there was water creeping up my sleeves and around my neck. Strangling me. God, strangled by water? Without the decency to drown me?

There was a sudden, loud splash. The Ichinomiya brat was washed in by the river, sputtering and holding his ofuda above the water. Well, the ink would probably run otherwise.

Thank heaven for small favors. "Staff! Now! Throw!" I didn't have time for a long explanation. The last word came out as more of a gurgle as a surge of river water filled my mouth.

He might be oddly ignorant (sometimes), but he wasn't slow on the uptake. Weak throwing arm, though. I barely managed to snatch it. I wouldn't use lightening when I was practically encased in water, so I used it as a spear instead. Just as effective. I couldn't aim well, but I pinned her shoulder well enough to break her concentration.

I dove for her, but she'd have the river after me again in a second. Time to draw her out. I threw myself across the cave to grab my staff back, but she didn't seem to be after me now. No, her liquid tentacles were going for Takeshi.

Strange. But useful. Bait! Staff in hand I rushed past and grabbed him. There was a brief tug-of-war with the river and an angry screech from my shadowy friend, but I pulled him free and dodged out through the cave's mouth. I bumped my head on the way, but he didn't sustain any damage. And she was following, or at least the water was very riled up as we left. Excellent.

I dropped him on the bank. He didn't look so good. Very shaky and out of breath. "She doesn't seem to like you, Ichinomiya."

"She's Mizuko!"

"Huh?" He had a real tendency to assume I could read his mind. And she was coming out of the cave now. I was sure of it.

"A girl my brother seduced. Kazuo said he'd marry her. Not that he was ever serious. And when her baby was stillborn he used it as an excuse to throw her out. She disappeared. I bet she drowned herself, and now she's become an onryo!"

Well, that'd make sense. Drowning the child, tormenting the village, going straight for the younger brother. When would humans learn not to scorn tough women? And the oldest Ichinomiya seemed like a first class blot on the landscape. "It'd explain why she's miffed with _you_. …Damn it!" Water tentacle on the ankle. But she'd left her cave now and I was out of the river. A good bash with my staff severed the tendril.

Now I could see her. (How the hell had Takeshi recognized her in that gloom?) She looked for the most part like a very ill woman in a tattered, torn kimono with patches of algae growing on it. Her eye sockets were filled with water instead of eyeballs. Her hands had become gnarled claws that looked a bit scaly. Her hair and clothes seemed to be floating, despite mostly being out of the water now. She was just a little transparent from some angles, and her outline seemed to waver gently as though a current were passing over her, distorting her image.

I was going to have some nasty dreams about this woman.

But at the moment she was trying to drag the boy into the river. He looked suitably frightened, but wasn't doing much about it. I wondered if he'd been injured with all the dragging around, or if whatever made him so frail he couldn't walk up a hill was acting up.

I threw my staff at her again. This time she saw me coming and whacked it away with a wave. It was good to be able to fly again. I dodged around her easily to get it back.

"I'm going to shock her. It should be plenty to take her out. Try and get your foot away." I didn't really want to electrocute the boy, too. Was he going to be able to get out? She wasn't very strong outside the river, though she was closing on him.

"No! Please, she was my friend. It wasn't her fault! Let me." He brandished his (damp despite his best efforts) ofuda.

While he spoke, she got another loop of river wrapped around him, this one on his waist. He was being dragged into the water and still trying to convince me he could handle it? It'd be a mercy to remove this one's head from the clouds. I landed between them to sever the bonds that held him. He was going to be dragged under otherwise. There was barely enough room for me to stand between them.

"Let me try!"

"Shut up!" This was getting dangerous. He was making it worse. She had one around _my_ waist now. I took a bit of a risk and threw a small jolt of lightening at her. It made my hair crinkle and stand on end and singed the sleeves of my robe. Uncomfortable, but, I thought, rather exhilarating. She steamed like a teapot and looked angry, but there wasn't much other effect.

She was a stubborn one. And she suddenly had a watery vice grip around my throat again.

I swiped at her hands, and when I smacked them the grip on my throat wavered but didn't break. I was making her fight me, though. Time for the brat to run. Instead, he got up and waded past me. The water lapped at him and knocked him over. He still held his ofuda above the water, but his face was being rammed into the river. Idiot! I was running low on air again. I determined to never fight something so aquatic again. I managed to stab her where her foot should be. She didn't seem to have one, but it seemed to at least cause her enough discomfort that she let go of him and went back to slowly cutting off my air.

He actually grabbed onto my arm to haul himself up. I was having a hard enough time keeping it up as it was, spotty as my vision was getting. To be fair, he was short. I almost fell over and he ended up back in the river on his face, but he got the ofuda on her forehead.

She let go, and I sank to me knees gasping. Bad practice. Bad strategy. But I was in bad shape, now, wasn't I? When I looked up I saw a pretty, skinny girl with tired eyes smiling at Takeshi gratefully for a moment before she was gone, leaving us just the forest, river, and a whole lot of bruises.

I couldn't talk just at the moment. I just glared my diatribe. He was the most headstrong, soft-hearted, egotistical idiot I'd ever met. Though that had been a very strong charm. I'd give him that.

"I'm sorry!" He bowed his head and was blushing again. Now his skin had a slightly bluish tint (the water was icy cold, coming down from the melting snow), and the blush was a rather arresting shade of red as a result. "I got in your way. But I couldn't let you hurt her. She was a wonderful person. Kazuo just… he…"

"Stupid kid." I coughed a bit and got up. I'd have a headache for the rest of the day from that. "But hey, you're good at what you do. And now Sugino owes me a couple more dinners." Though I wondered if that poor, tortured girl and her attacking river could be responsible for the marauding demon. Didn't seem quite in character. This meant… more stress. And more free meals. Cooked meals!

And that'd be much easier with someone who got dizzy in a demon's vicinity and could banish them if the battle got too heavy. I worked alone, as a general policy, but this was a matter of convincing Sugino to entertain and pamper me. A good and worthy cause.

"Su…gino…?"

"You'd call him the god on the mountain. I've known him for years. Saved him from being eaten." Saving him had been a side effect. I'd just been hungry. But I didn't have too many friends, so why not take what I could get?

I looked down at Takenshi, who was still shaking on the ground. I held out a hand and let him haul himself up. "What's wrong with you, exactly?"

"I was always sickly, and, well, look at me." He shrugged sheepishly. "I can't go out in the sun and I can only see properly when it's almost dark. And then when I was very young I caught a fever that nearly killed me. I think it did kill me for a minute. I never really got better. The herbalist in town makes medicine for me. Without that I'd probably be dead. But even with it I'm not a lot of use."

Explained why he was so weak his raw power was barely there. Strong mind, though, and such focus. Such precision. Two things I often found myself lacking. I leaned down a bit, trying to get a better look at him. "And you can see us."

"_That_ I've always been able to do. So can my sister. We're twins. You know. One soul in two bodies." He smiled. It looked frozen on his face. "…She got the good half."

Now what was I supposed to do about that? I didn't want to hear his sob story. "Feel like helping me look for another demon?"

"Now?" He looked a bit horrified.

"No, _now_ I'll fly you back down to town. You look like you're about to faint. I'll come get you when I want you. Just make a few more of those." I nodded to the now blank piece of cloth. "That one's better than priests and shrine maidens usually make."

"Really? I just made it from a book. I borrowed it from the shrine, though. Miko's been helping me out now that my Father's given up on making a warrior out of me. I can get back to studying like I want to."

This kid was peculiar. I shrugged and picked him up. Even soaking wet he barely weighed anything, and y wings were about dry. The extra water weight in my robes was a little annoying, but it'd dry during flight. He started shivering as soon as we'd taken off, though, as well as hiding his eyes from the sun.

So fragile. Hardly seemed fair. I looked up at the clear sky, not wanting to watch him struggle.

"You're quiet, Demon Eater."

When I looked back down I was still walking beside Sugino, and apparently had been the whole time. What I wouldn't have given for a pattern to this! I looked away from him, at a loss for an answer.

A delicate boy with nerves of steel and glittering eyes continued to look through the centuries at me. Knowing he was long gone only made the look more intense. He didn't have Kantaro's strength or energy, but that tender heart and courage belonged to my beloved master. And those eyes. Those ancient eyes like blood and sunsets.

Two Ichinomiya boys, pale as pearls, crusaders for lost ghosts and disheartened monsters, one to betray me, one for me to betray.

Takeshi _was_ Kantaro.

I shook my head. That was a ridiculous notion. It was the same family. Why shouldn't they be a lot alike? I couldn't shake the feeling, though. I turned to Sugino for empty conversation, anything to distract me, but we'd arrived at the mansion. We'd come from the opposite side this time, emerging from the trees right behind the great house.

"What happens just when you look at it?" He gave me a look more pitying than I liked. I reminded myself again that he meant well, that comfort and support weren't his forte. "What do you feel?"

"Alone." I hadn't meant to say it, but the first word to come to mind burst out. "Like I've lost something very vital that should be waiting for me here. But it's gone." I shook my head. That was vague and ridiculous and empty of information. And a bit embarrassing.

I'd meant to leave my wings out of the equation, but on a sudden whim (and to get away from Sugino a moment) I brought them out. They still felt off kilter. I _hate_ bent feathers. At least I didn't have much of a flight in mind, just a hop up to the second floor.

There was a ledge to stand on to peer through the half collapsed window. It had once been hung with an array of wind chimes and charms. That, at least, came to me like an ordinary memory, a passing thought with a fuzzy mental image. Miko and Sachie liked them.

The window was half overgrown with ivy. I pulled it away to reveal a pretty, richly decorated room with six people seated around a table. Ichinomiya himself was lecturing endlessly on the politics of the day. I didn't bother to follow why the humans were or weren't killing each other any given moment. For all I knew he was quite right, but I'd have bet against it.

I recognized Kazuo from his interference fighting the bug. He looked bored and was glancing out the window more than minding his father. I was glad he couldn't see me. It was no business of mine if he felt like discarding some perfectly nice girl who'd no doubt loved him, but onryo were nasty business and I couldn't say I approved.

There was another boy, a bit smaller. His face was more like Takeshi's, whereas Kazuo looked like his father. He was paying rapt, dutiful attention. Bland little thing. Just as rapt was the woman at the foot of the table, a plump, smiling creature who was clearly too young for his Lordship.

A dark-complexioned girl who didn't look nearly as demure as ladies of great families were wont to do was pouring tea with one hand and fiddling with a comb in her hair with the other. Aside from the coloring and being a bit less skeletal, she looked exactly like Takeshi, who was sitting beside her.

He looked a bit battered. I hadn't noticed before, but he'd taken his share of cuts and bruises from our fight with Miss Mizuko. I wondered how he'd explained that. Maybe I shouldn't take him out again so early. If I was going to have a secret weapon, I had to take good care of it.

I watched him for a while. He drank too much, ignoring the tea his sister was practically forcing on him. He also drank from a dark, stoppered bottle that made my nose wrinkle even at my distance when he first opened it. It smelled very unwholesome. The medicine the herbalist made for him? I couldn't imagine what good it was supposed to be doing. He was half corpse already.

Whenever his father or a brother spoke to him, he went rather rigid and his posture echoed that of a dog trained to obedience with too much force and no tenderness.

It wasn't usually my way. Fragile, innocent creatures were all well and good, but butterflies weren't meant to live long. It wasn't my job to look after them. But this one made me want to give him a hug and tuck him into bed where the big, bad world couldn't bother him.

"Demon Eater!"

I looked down. I wished Sugino would just learn to use my name. Honestly. I smiled a bit anyway. That had been a comfortingly peaceful bit of memory. I looked back at the window.

They were still eating inside. It was well-lit, intact, and lively. I looked down again, assuring myself I was indeed looking at the Sugino I knew now, that I was wearing my western coat, any other hint I could think of to secure me in time. When I looked back it was to a ruined house full of mildew and ghosts again.


	5. The Heart Rules the Mind

I was afraid to look at the house again for a moment. I jumped back down to Sugino again, glad for the distraction. He bit his lip when I landed. "You look pale."

That wasn't a great surprise. "It's getting stronger and less predictable. And I know even less now, it seems." Every memory I had showed Takeshi to be sweet, naïve, and gentle. All but the one where he spent his own life force to shatter my memories, secure me in oblivion for a few centuries, and turn me against Kantaro. That memory was horribly strong. It had an acidic bite that the others lacked. When I closed my eyes I'd start to see it half the time. I couldn't push it away. But almost as strong were my visions of his disingenuous smile and determined courage.

"Do you want to go inside?"

"Not yet." Out here seemed important. There was a bit of a bulge in the ground just beside Sugino. My eyes followed it. Looked like a mighty tree that had fallen and been mostly reclaimed by the earth.

It had been massive, once, a real lord of the forest. And Sugino and I had perched in it to watch the village's festival in his honor.

"Megalomaniac."

"It'd be impolite not to turn up at my own party." He sniffed at me and went back to watching the shrine maiden. She wasn't very solemn. Oh, her duties were all being carried out perfectly. I didn't know much of human customs, but I could tell she was exacting. However, she seemed to not be able to stop grinning.

The bit with incense and supplications seemed to have ended, and another girl emerged from the throng. I recognized her as Takeshi's sister. The two of them entered a beautifully graceful dance. The Ichinomiya girl was a bit better, but they both smiled and moved in a sort of complimentary harmony.

"Alright, I can see why you enjoy this."

"I like dancing."

Something abruptly occurred to me. "She can see us. The other girl. Takeshi told me."

"Well, then she's seen me every year since she was a child. Assuming your little lapdog is telling the truth. There he is, by the way."

I could hardly have missed him. He practically glowed even in the dark, and in the sunlight he shone like a beacon. I smiled a bit. "We're going demon hunting later."

"During my festival?" Sugino punched my shoulder.

"He's staying for the _important _bit." Gratifying Sugino's ego was important. Of course. "He hates the feast part. The whole town treats him like a freak."

"I'm so sorry for his discomfort. You may not have noticed, but he _is_ a freak. A great grandmother of his looked almost like that, but she didn't live much past having a baby. A normal one. He's already older than she was. …And she made it look good."

"He looks fine!" I was surprised at the fierceness in my voice, and so was Sugino, who moved away a bit and looked at me with wary perplexity. I shook my head and looked back to the dancers, trying to allay my sudden fit of temper. I didn't even know what that had been about. "Wait a minute. How old is he?" I supposed a girl could have a baby pretty young, but Takeshi couldn't have been much more than sixteen.

"He's been around… twenty some years? He and the girl only came along a year after the next youngest. Now stop gabbing. I'm watching my show."

I threw an acorn at him. This stupid argument didn't need escalating. Besides, he was really in his twenties? I didn't know why it shocked me so much. How much practice did I have judging such things?

The village shifted oddly from a prosperous little town to a ruin reclaimed by the woods. I'd sat down on the small mound of dirt that was all that was left of the ancient tree. My hands were over my face and I felt sort of cold. That might have just been the wind. I looked up at Sugino, who was shaking his head and frowning, apparently out of ideas for dealing with me. I sighed. "Megalomaniac."

"What?"

"Nothing." I got up and began to walk down the road in town the best I could. Ghostly images danced at the edge of my vision. Off in the corner of my eye I would see laughing peasant girls serving sake and musicians on shamisen and drums. When I looked, just a forest at dusk with a few echoes of the houses that had once stood there.

I spotted him, hunched over the table, ineffectively trying to hide from too much sun. I turned and instead of vanishing he solidified as my hand clamped down on his shoulder. "Hey. Do you want to hang around or can we get moving on this?"

He looked up and smiled at me. The girl beside him whacked him with the back of her hand. "If you don't want people to think of you as more of an aberration than they already do, don't talk to what's not there, stupid."

He glared at her balefully. "Follow your own advice."

"No, I'm talking to _you_." She smiled beatifically at him and then up at me. For good measure, I guess. Takeshi stood in an obvious snit and stalked off. I followed him until we reached the manor. I didn't really want to go inside. My wings would barely fit through the door.

"I'll wait here while you get whatever you need."

"About that. Do you think you could, um, fly up to get me from my window? I don't want them to see me leaving."

The subterfuge seemed pointless, but it wouldn't be any real trouble. I shrugged and he took it for a yes. I realized a moment later I didn't know what room was his, so I circled the place three times before I saw his head poking out a window. His chin was propped on his palms and he looked sort of… wistful. He had a very expressive face, and thanks to him I was getting much better at recognizing human emotions. No that I had any special use for the skill.

He almost made me drop him when he tripped on the way over the window sill. I ignored it. Takeshi was oddly pathetic when his feelings were hurt, and they were very brittle. I couldn't explain why I should care, but it seemed I did. I stood on the ledge to steady myself and then took right off.

"Which way are we headed today?"

"North and a little east. The rumor sounds like it's probably a rokurokubi." He'd been studying. And the grinning shrine maiden was more a useful asset than I'd expected for passing all these traveler's tales on to Takeshi.

"You're going to not let me eat it again, aren't you?" Or kill it. Or even seriously maim. I was impressed with his ofuda, his slowly growing power, and even his morals, but it was always a let-down to not be able to go for the throat at the end. Usually. If he was having too much trouble I'd still gut the demon and let him get over it.

"It's not its fault it's become possessed. They're usually very harmless. Spooky, but harmless." He nodded very solemnly, stayed solemn for a moment, and then broke into the usual tender-hearted expression he saved for poor, helpless yokai. I patted him on the head and flew in silence.

This demon proved fairly easy to dispatch. We'd gotten used to working together. He knew my style and I was getting used to guessing when he'd do something ridiculous and imperiling. He almost got himself killed, but that was becoming routine. And for the sake of justice, rather than properly dispatching our adversary, Takeshi exorcised it.

He had a new method, though. I made sure the now reformed rokurokubi was out of our hair and walked over. Instead of an ofuda he'd used a string of beads and words I didn't know. "Did what's her name teach you that?"

"Miko? No. Well, sort of. She let me borrow another book and she got me the beads from a traveling monk when I asked. I'm really glad it worked. It seems a lot more practical, huh?" He beamed up at me. The smile looked a little pasted on, and suddenly I smelled blood.

He'd hidden it well. I hadn't even noticed him getting hurt. "Takeshi!"

"It's not very bad."

"You faint if you're left in the sun too long." I picked him up and set him on a fallen log. Overpowering was easier than arguing. The cut wasn't too big, but it needed bandaging and I doubted he'd want to use that leg even as much as usual for a day or two.

I sighed and tied it off with a scrap I tore from my robe. It looked sloppy, but I wasn't Sugino. Who cared? "There. I know you must always play the little hero, but at least let me fix your mistakes."

"Thank you, Haruka."

A strange, frozen sensation rushed through me, expanding from my center and shooting out to my fingertips and scalp, making my hair stand on end. Like being doused with a bucket of cold water, only backwards. Even when the cold sensation abated I felt very strange. Out of balance.

He had not just… I snapped my head up to glare at him. "What?"

"Oh, well, it was sort of awkward to think about you without you having a name. I got very tired of Demon-Eating Tengu whenever you came to mind. So I sort of gave you a name that I thought fit." He was looking determinedly at his feet and looked a little flushed. Maybe that was from the fight.

"First off, that's a girl's name."

"No! Well, not the way I thought of it. You're… you're stronger than all the demons."

A side note anyway. I stood, _accidentally_ catching the hem of his hakama under my foot so he couldn't get up with me. I wanted maximum intimidation. "Little brat, do you even know what you just did?"

"I got it about a second after I said it…" He did at least look sheepish. Not suitably penitent, though, as far as I was concerned. "I'm sorry, Haruka. I know you didn't want a name…"

"Stop saying it." Actually, to my surprise, I wasn't so adverse to it as I'd expected to be. I'd had nothing but bad experiences with humans arrogant enough to try to make a pet of me, but Takeshi wouldn't do that. And there were advantages. He was as bound to me as I to him.

I still wasn't letting him off easy.

"I think I can take it away if I try…" He bit his lip. "I can figure out a way. But, well, I don't want to."

"What?"

"These last few months I've actually been happy. I doubt you really know what that means to me, but I don't want you to leave, Haruka. I don't want to go back to living as a ghost like before I met you." He finally looked up at me. "Please stay with me." There were tears in his eyes. The added shimmer rendered them otherworldly.

Maybe it was due to my new name, but I didn't feel any of the anger I expected. He was so fragile. I'd never felt such a compulsion to look after someone. At the same time, his skill was heading quickly toward the unsurpassed (if only he'd stop collapsing halfway through his intricate and demanding spells). I needed to defend him and I was in awe of him. Not something I'd tell him, but…

"Alright. I will." That was really all that needed be said. I sat on the log beside him, but as I lowered myself onto the wood the warm sunlight vanished and I was alone in a dark forest, precariously balanced on the tumbled remnants of someone's wall.

Sugino was watching me from a distance. I didn't feel ready to talk to him, but I was glad for his presence. Takeshi had looked at me with Kantaro's eyes. Memories playing with each other? Somehow I doubted it. Kantaro to Takeshi and back again… Oh, he wasn't entirely my Kantaro. He quite lacked that insidious streak, the sneakiness and the little touch of cruelty Kantaro was capable of.

Or so I thought. Without cruelty, where did binding me and shattering my memories come in? I knew I wanted to kill him. And now that made even more sense. I wasn't just taking vengeance on the house of Ichinomiya but my betrayer himself. Kantaro, even with his little mean streak, had defended me to what he expected to be his death, had stood beside me at my most monstrous. Takeshi, guileless and pure as no human ought to have been capable of, had turned around to thrust me into centuries of oblivion and ruin.

Not fair. Not reasonable. I didn't want to think anymore about either of my two masters who were one. What could I have done to deserve binding? I'd already gotten past trying to convince myself I'd deserved my punishment and shouldn't attempt revenge. It hadn't worked. But now it was hard to believe Takeshi would have sacrificed himself just to spite me. He'd smiled so prettily. He'd wanted me beside him. And I wanted to be there. I might have been an uncouth brute back then, but I wasn't disloyal or ungrateful. I'd said I would be with him.

I hoped it was my fault, that I'd done something monstrous. I didn't want to be the reason for Takeshi's corruption any more than I wanted Kantaro's death.

I stood to go back to Sugino. He couldn't help, but he could at least make me feel less lost. Before I could take a step, I felt a little hand catch my sleeve and turned. "Oh. Hello, Sachie."

She didn't look well. Admittedly, she hadn't been quite herself since she'd come home. There was definitely fear in her eyes, though. "Haruka, I need you to help me."

I'd never seen her scared this way. The little bundle of tiny person she always had with her even seemed fretful. I didn't know much about babies, but Fuyuki and I had gotten fairly well acquainted the last few months. He was usually far graver and more sensible than his mother.

"What is it?" She almost never visited alone. "Where's Takeshi?"

"Busy. Please. I need you to take Fuyu to a friend of mine. Her name's Shigemi. I drew you a map."

"You're leaving me with a baby?" Of many questions, this seemed most pressing.

"Just take him. Fu likes flying, don't you, little thingy?" She poked the end of his nose.

"Why don't I take you, too? I could even fly all three of you a short distance if there's an emergency." There'd better be an emergency if I was expected to look after an infant.

"No, I have to be here for this mess and so does Takeshi. I just want him to be well looked after while I'm busy. Tak says he'll send one of the yokai he pals around with to tell you when to come meet him." She stood on tiptoe and kissed my cheek. "You two have a nice trip. Fuyuki, don't you give your uncle Haruka too much trouble."

"Uncle?"

"You're practically an in-law at this point. He's a very good baby. Though he's not quite weaned, so if he nibbles on you, just pull him away."

"What!"

"Teasing. Bye!" She tapped my nose like she had the child's and ran back toward the manor. I realized she was wearing her full noblewoman's regalia, something I hadn't seen since the few festivals I'd seen her at. My eyes seemed to follow her too closely on her way down the mountain. She didn't get farther away; rather the village rushed up on me and I was looking at the mansion from down the road as she ducked inside. For a moment I got an impression of too many guards and strangers on the streets, and then there was only a half-collapsed wreck.

I looked down and reassured myself I wasn't holding a baby. Good. I had nothing against babies, but I didn't exactly see myself as trustworthy with one. I had a sense I'd completed Sachie's mission and delivered her son, but still. Haruka was not made for domesticity. It seemed Takeshi had tamed the Demon-Eater even more thoroughly than Kantaro.

A sudden thought came to me. I'd seen Sachie leave for her wedding. Even assuming she was rather quick about getting pregnant, I'd spent at least a year with Takeshi. Probably longer. How old had that baby been? I didn't know enough about human children to judge. Not a newborn.

I started toward Sugino again. This time no specter of days past interrupted me, though I did falter a moment when I realized Sachie's son had pure white skin, silver hair, and deep ruby eyes.

Sugino had gotten fidgety while I wallowed in nostalgia. He was weaving together strands of long grass, looking unusually intent. The pattern was simple, but it actually looked rather nice.

"I didn't know you had an artistic side."

"Muu taught me," he said primly, eyes burning with curiosity. Apparently he was being too sensitive to ask what I'd been remembering.

I told him the gist of it, sitting in the damp grass beside him. I toyed with the purple stone in my pocket as I spoke, skirting the issue of my (clearly not) accidental (even the slightest bit) naming. He looked disapproving anyway.

I lapsed into silence after simply saying Sachie had asked me to take her baby to another town. Sugino looked more intent on his handicrafts and I deduced once more he wasn't telling me something. I sort of preferred that. I only wanted my own perspective.

The movement of his fingers was rather hypnotic. On a whim, I pulled out my little flower. "Could you make me a cord to hang this on?"

He looked it over and weighed it in his palm. "Sure. Won't it clash a bit with the one you've got on?"

"It's not for me. It's for Kantaro. If I can't go back to him, at least I can send that." Sugino looked about to object, then nodded with a sigh. "It did belong to a member of his family."

"Oh. Good point." Sugino nodded gravely. "Well, his many-times-great-aunt."

"Great-_grandmother_." I didn't know how I knew, but I was suddenly sure that it wasn't that spiritless second son but Sachie's little one that was my Kantaro's direct ancestor.

Sugino kept twisting the grass, probably waiting for me to get up to go. It was truly dark and he didn't seem to expect much more to happen. I looked up and sighed, not wanting to spend another night alone in this haunted place. A shooting star cut right across the sky.

"That was a bright one," Takeshi said with a grin, propping himself up on his elbow. "It's beautiful. I should come out on the roof more often."

"I don't know how you stand living under one."

"What are you talking about? You live in a cave!"

"I only sleep there when it's raining. I like having the stars where I can see them. Without them I'm missing all my favorite shiny treasures."

I felt a playful little tug on my hair. He'd scooched over, closing the space between us. "Except one, right?"

What a little tease. I wrapped my arm around him. "Except my very favorite."

_That_ was it. I'd never been able to jerk myself free of a memory before, but that was all I wanted to see for a moment. I wasn't going to think about the implications or the slight flutter of my heart or the split second of lips close but not touching when lightening seemed between us.

"Demon Eater?"

I realized I was shaking a bit and straightened up, letting my hands fall from where they'd been, clutching my temples.

"Demon Eater, you're very pale. We should call it a night. What on earth did you just recall?"

"I'll be right back." I wouldn't think about it. I wouldn't. So why was I taking off, bent feathers be damned, and landing on the battered, barely extent roof? This was where we'd been, I thought. I felt the timbers shake as I landed but didn't fall through. No new memories. Just an old one.

I landed on the roof. "I'm coming, Takeshi." Just a whisper. What was the point if he had wanring? Besides, I didn't feel like dodging arrows. If Sachie was off being betrothed, her room was empty. I used her window to duck inside. It looked very empty. The house already seemed to be feeling the lack of its loud, pesky young lady.

Her room was next to her twin's, so I didn't have to risk too much time in the hallway. Sneaking around was something I'd never get used to. Being visible to normal humans was the most unfortunate side effect of my name yet.

There was a new charm on the door. Too nicely written to have been done by Miko or Sachie. Potent, too. He was getting better at this. Also paranoid, considering the effort put to defending a room in a huge house full of guards. Ah, but what was Takeshi without paranoia? It'd be like taking the claws off a demon. Easier, but much less fun.

I opened the door slowly. I'd been lucky so far, but the last thing I needed was some dull-witted, faithful retainer happening down the hall, probably on edge with His Lordship gone.

My heartbeat sped up just a fraction. I loved the sense of the hunt. He was bent over a scroll, half out of his blue, summery kimono. His hakama was on the floor. So disgracefully untidy. And lazy. In the heat of the day I'd understand, but it was dusk and the breeze was cool. Not that I objected much.

Ah, well, not much point in stealth once I was in the room. I smirked and cleared my throat.

He whirled around, smiling with his cheeks a bit pink. Drunk again. Lush. He flung his calligraphy brush at me and missed by an arm's length. "Don't sneak up on me, Haruka!"

"It was fun. What do you want me for?"

"Um, it's lonely and spooky here at night with everyone gone." I might not have been very good at reading humans, but how much practice had I had with Takeshi?

"Liar. How drunk are you?"

"Barely at all. Just the one."

At his size, one drink might just do it. I sighed and sat down. "You don't exactly look healthy. Missing your sister already?" I hoped so. If he was getting sick again he'd been sent to that herbalist. And it seemed to me he always came back sicker.

"Mmm. He's a wealthy, powerful man, and Sachie's very beautiful. She's already good at running a household. It'll be a good marriage for them and the families." He reached for his nihonshu. I put my hand over his. Bad idea.

"So you miss her? Or are you jealous?" I was just teasing. Admittedly not nicely now. But I wanted him to do something other than wallow in self-pity. Better he be fighting with me.

"Haruka!" His voice was almost a wail. Oh. I'd expected to be snapped at. Had I made him cry? Even for the Demon Eater, that was pretty reprehensible. I reached over to pat his shoulder and he latched onto me. He must really not have been very drunk, because he had a grip like steel. That'd teach me to taunt a depressed Takeshi ever again.

"Takeshi, what's the matter?" I wasn't very good at comforting, but I tried. "I'm sure you'll get to see her soon." They wouldn't keep twins apart for too long, would they?

"…Jealous."

"What?"

"You asked. The answer is jealous."

"Jealous?" That would _really_ teach me to taunt him. "That Sachie's marrying someone she's never met for your father's influence? I'm sure if you asked he'd be happy to find a stranger for you, too."

"No. Offering me to any potential ally would be an insult." He sniffed and looked up at me, relaxing his grip a little. A very little. Not enough to make it comfortable to breathe. "The sickly freak. The family humiliation."

"Oh, come on. I've told you before that's nonsense." I tipped his chin up and smiled. "You're very beautiful." It was an aesthetic no one could deny! Ruby, pearl, and silver. He could certainly stand to gain a bit of weight, but he looked more dream than human. "Do you want to get married so badly?"

"No, but I want to know what it feels like before I die!"

"…Marriage?" Now I was lost. Maybe it would help if he really _was_ drunk…

"Haruka, you are so dense!" Before I could blink his mouth was pressed hungrily, clumsily to mine. Only for a moment before he pulled away, blushing to the shoulders and staring at the floor while I could only stare at him. We were frozen that way for a moment that lasted eternity.

He finally broke the silence. "Please, Haruka. It's not a command. I'm asking. You're my best friend in the world. You mean more to me than anyone. I trust you completely."

"You really want me to…" My head refused to get around this. Oh, he was beautiful, and I had to admit I was having a hard time keeping my eyes from tracing the white skin under his sloppy kimono. I'd never thought of him that way, but I never thought of anyone that way. It wasn't as though I hadn't been seduced, but I'd never cared much about it. A chore, something to deal with for the sake of an ally.

With Takeshi, maybe not. His fragility, his talent, his grace and his weakness… There was no one, human or yokai, I respected or loved more. I adored this human. And he asked so sweetly. There were tears in the jewel-like eyes that held a world for me. My friend and master.

"Please." His head was bowed in supplication. I hated to see him that way. I clasped his shoulder. "I could die tomorrow. Or in thirty years. I'd still never know."

"You're drunk." One last objection. I was shocked to realize I was afraid. I had no idea what to do. I'd hurt him. This one boon he'd asked would be miserable left in my hands. There had to be someone better suited, some girl in town…

"No."

Alright, he wasn't. And there was no one else. "If you change your mind, say so. I'll stop." I pulled him to me.

"…Haruka, thank you."

"Shh." I was afraid he might accidentally use the name contract. Willing as I was, that would change it. That would take my act of love and his need and make it… sordid. For us both. I kept him from speaking again with a kiss at least as awkward as his.

I searched my mind for any clue as to how to proceed, but all I could think of was to watch my teeth. Even when not hunting they were sharper than a human's. Even that was hard to keep in mind as I relaxed and began to explore his mouth, took in the taste of him, the velvet of his tongue. Had I really thought of this as a favor? This was ecstasy. No wonder I'd never cared to try this with anyone else. This moment belonged to Takeshi.

I felt him shaking a little and almost stopped, but his hands left my shoulders, where they'd been clamped as though he were holding on for dear life, and ran through my hair. I shivered. A stirring electric sensation followed his fingers, but also seemed to travel outward from the core of me, making even my fingertips tingle. I tried to mimic the action. He made a breathy, high-pitched sound and pressed harder against me. I must have done it right.

Takeshi's hair was so soft. I hadn't expected ever to want to stop kissing him, but on a sudden whim I pulled away and buried my face in his hair. It smelled like sandalwood. And Takeshi. Another shiver went through me, this one deeper. My hand tightened on his hair and pulled gently. He tipped his head obediently and I pressed my mouth to his throat.

He tasted absolutely delectable. I forgot to be nervous, licking and sucking perhaps more roughly than I should have. He quivered under my touch and moaned for me, egging me on further. I left his slim throat covered in love bites, nibbled at his ears (it made him gasp beautifully), even nipped at his collarbone. Every little sound he made brought back that electric sensation. His pleasure was mine.

I licked my way down the shivering muscle between neck and shoulder. His kimono was in my way. Without thinking, I shoved it away with my nose. He'd been wearing it so loose (oh, come to think of it, that was probably supposed to be seductive—and it _was_) the cloth all tumbled off his shoulders, pooling around his wrists and waist. He gasped and it wasn't quite the high, quavering kind that made my heart speed up.

I pulled away. Because I was concerned and I wanted to look. Beautiful. Preternaturally beautiful. Wherever he blushed it shone like a beacon. His skin was almost transparent. There was no hiding the rush of blood. I wanted to run my hands over all of him. My tongue. "Oh, Takeshi…" I shook my head. Hard. "Are you alright?" I felt a sudden very insistent rush of heat between my legs as my eyes traveled over him. "If you want me to stop… better say so now."

Regular lust was a lot like bloodlust. Overpowering, indefatigable, sublime, and all the better with a perfect object.

"No. No, please don't stop. I just… you startled me." He smiled shyly. "You're wonderful, Haruka."

Oh, Takeshi. My fragile hero. I sat up to smile down at him, running my fingertips along his cheek. "That was... Did you like it?"

He caught my hand, looking up at me pleadingly. He was breathing hard. I'd really worn the poor little thing out. "More."

"No. You're exhausted." Even I was a bit weary after that.

"I'll be fine. Don't let this be the end, Haruka!"

"You think I won't do it again if you ask me?" Poor Takeshi, did he think tonight was his only chance? But then... I was a lot more eager than he expected me to be, perhaps. I was, after all, in love with him. I should tell him. He'd know he could ask anything of me then. Though maybe he wouldn't want to, come to think of it. After all, he was asking me to fulfill a physical need. My deeper feelings might put him off. Well, then he deserved to know even more. If he told me no... I hoped he wouldn't. "I love you, Takeshi."

He just stared at me for a moment, then turned his head away quickly. Not so quickly I didn't see a sudden tear. "Takeshi? What's wrong?"

He sniffed. "I tricked you and lied for no reason!"

"What lie?" That didn't bode well. But he looked so miserable I couldn't be angry. I stroked his hair again.

"I never thought you'd... sleep with me... if I said I loved you..."

"Oh." Oh, Takeshi. I lay beside him and wrapped my arm around his waist. "That was foolish. I'll forgive you if you give me a kiss."

He rolled over and smiled at me. I got my kiss and many more besides. He finally stopped to look me in the eye. "Haruka, will you stay here tonight?"

"Yes. Well, until dawn. Then I'd better go. Someone's likely to check on you." I glanced down. Whoever looked in on Takeshi would have quite an interesting sight on their hands. I'd left purple blotches and bite marks all over his neck and chest. There was even one on his earlobe. He'd have a hard time hiding those. Oops.

"Away in the night like a Heian courtier, huh?" Takeshi kissed the tip of my nose. "Alright. But only if you come back tomorrow."

"Always."

I closed my eyes with my arms around Takeshi and opened them lying on the floor that had been his centuries ago. Sugino was hollering for me, but I couldn't bring myself to answer. Instead I curled into a ball and bit back tears. Oh, what had I done?

**Author's Note:**_ There's a bit chopped out of this chapter for the rather graphic events between kissing and confessions of love. I didn't feel like editing it bit by bit down to fanfiction . net standards, so I just worked around it. Anyone who wants to know what naughty things happened can just drop me a request and I'll give you a link._


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